The role of humour in intimate intercultural relationships

Humour is vital for social life. We explored the role of humour in intimate intercultural relationships by: (1) interviewing intercultural couples and (2) analysing the videos of international street performances of a conflictual intercultural clown couple. The interviews involved 15 intercultural couples. The video analysis was based on one clown couple selected from an initial sample. Preliminary results supported the interdisciplinary theories explaining the relationships between: (1) humour and embarrassment and (2) humour and hatred. Humour and ridicule are main elements of embarrassment which is important for maintaining social order. The presence of an audience in embarrassing situations is necessary. ‘Laughing with’ or ‘laughing at’ was explored through three main types of embarrassing situations: faux pas, sticky situations and being the centre of attention. The third type was found to be the most common among intercultural couples, especially in situations of linguistic misunderstandings. Humour was the most used remedial strategy, along with apologies, excuses and justifications. Embarrassment was related to shame, the master-emotion appearing when interpersonal or group relations are broken. Shame could transform into rage and humour can provide tools for expressing it while also supporting the feelings of pleasure. Hatred was present in the forms of stereotypes against the partner’s culture through jokes. We discuss humour, embarrassment and hatred from micro to macro level to understand how they can protect the social order, find the pleasure in damaging the same and what we can do about it.